Don Reviews "Bride Hard"

The late film critic Gary Murray told me that if a film has the only press screening close to the release date (like the night before), that it is a sign that the film will not be good.  It may be a hope that the reviews may not be done promptly, giving the audience to try to get to it first, and over the years I have been doing this, the hit rate on his theory has been pretty good.  The next to look at and evaluate on this level is Bride Hard.

Simon West (Con Air) directs a cast that includes Rebel Wilson, Anna Camp, Anna Chlumsky, Da’Vine Joy Randolph, Gigi Zumbado, Justin Hartley, and Sam Huntington where Sam (Wilson), an international special agent (which she keeps as a secret) winds up at a wedding in Savannah Georgia for her best friend Betsy (Camp).  During the ceremony, mercenaries raid the island, and Sam has to put her skills to work to try and save the day.

I will be blunt here: I HATED THIS FILM so much, I consider it a complete waste of my time.  The only good thing about it is that I got to see the film for free as a member of the press, bit also took away my time and transportation costs.  It runs about an hour and forty-five minutes, and even THAT was too long: I could not wait for it to end.  I feel this this film is an attempt at a new twist to Bridesmaids but did not work with it trying to be a comedy, but that would have required me to laugh (I only counted two and a half chuckles, and that might still be generous).  The amount of suspension of disbelief in this film is pathetic, which really wanted to sell me on the fact that Wilson’s character is written as being able to take out a team of twenty-seven trained soldiers by herself like she was a female version of John Rambo. 

As the screening went on, I noticed a number of the people around me were sitting with their arms crossed with a displeased look on their face with almost silence in the attempt at comedy being forced upon us.  As I write this review, Rotten Tomatoes has Bride Hard at a current rating of 10%, and I am surprised it is even that high. There is no way I can recommend this film or ever watch it again, so you know what is coming… it has earned my un-coveted Maze Runner promise that this film will make my year end list of worst films of the year and could even reach the medal stand!