• The Clubhouse Podcast

Rob Reviews "The Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard"


Salma Hayek is my spirit animal.


I mean, I have always been a fan of her. She’s immensely talented, really seems to be living her best life all the time, chooses a lot of projects that challenge her, and has the grace and beauty of a supermodel.


And she says the “mother f bomb” almost as well as Samuel L. Jackson.


When Patrick Hughes cast and directed them as man and wife in 2017’s “The Hitman’s Bodyguard,” even though Hayek had a very small role, she owned every scene she was in. In the scenes they shared, the chemistry was undeniable, and when the sequel was announced as “The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard,” the Internet pretty much exploded.


This go around, Michael Bryce (Ryan Reynolds) is still dealing with the trauma of the events of the first film from losing a prized client as well as his license and “AAA” rating (with all of us still wondering if that is really a thing), coupled with his road trip with Darius Kincaid (Jackson). After his therapist suggests he take a sabbatical overseas to try to find himself again, he winds up being run into by Darius’ wife, Sonia (Hayek), who tells him that Darius has been kidnapped by the mafia which pulls the VERY reluctant Bryce back into their shenanigans and a plot to black out all of Europe by Aristotle Papadopolous (a BLONDE Antonio Banderas) after sanctions are brought against his home country (?) of Greece.


I know that this may be blasphemy to some of you, but I really feel this movie was better than the one that came before it. And make no mistake, THIS IS HAYEK’S MOVIE. This is a dense 100 minutes with a lot of plot development (and there is a LOT going on here), bullets, and blood, and these three make the most of each and every scene. Banderas is in it just enough to keep the story going, but the buddy road trip formula from the first movie keeps the fun going here. There is even Frank Grillo as the “I’ve got to work with you jerks” Interpol agent who also works under Crowley (Caroline Goodall) this time around and a couple of cool surprises (do yourself a solid and DON’T LOOK FOR SPOILERS HERE). There are even a mid-credits and post-credits bit for your perusal.


The laughs and action are perfectly blended with the over-the-top violence that the film that came before it, “Red Hill,” and “The Expendables 3” Patrick Hughes gets to do and does in that way that got the exact reactions out of me that he wanted along with the others in the screening that I attended.


With the world starting to turn the corner and allowing people to start gathering (this was the first full-blown theater experience that I have had after a couple of smaller-house showings), “The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard” is the perfect way to kick off the summer and welcome people back to the movies. Even if you end up streaming this a bit down the line, this is a GREAT way to spend some time to escape it all, chow down on some popcorn, sip your favorite beverage, and maybe even do some cussing of your own. In the best possible way.

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